Morning View

Y’know what?  I should just really call this blog:  “TJB has extremely outdated taste in music”.  Whatevs!

I had the iPod on shuffle and wonderful song came on.  “Nice to Know You” by Incubus and it made me want to listen to the album from whence it came, Morning View.

Love this!

It was released in 2001, and while I loved it then, it actually holds more meaning for me now.  I’m a lyrics guy and the boys in Incubus are beautifully poetic.  For real, when I used to work as an English teacher for foreigners, we would have conversation classes surrounding Incubus songs and they would go on for hours. 

According to the internet (and if it’s on the internet then it has to be true!) the album was written after lead singer (and often shirtless hottie) Brandon Boyd’s long term relationship ended, so it can certainly be classified as a post-breakup album.   Most of the lyrics mirror what people go through after a break up whether they be:

• Reminiscent – “I lean against the wind/ pretend that I am weightless/ and in this moment, I am happy/ I wish you were here..”
• Lonely  – “cause now you’re not here/and I’m knee-deep in my own fear/ Forgive my indecision/ I am only a man..”
• Angry  – “I bite my tongue everytime you come around/ cause blood in my mouth/ beats blood off the ground”
• Downright insulting – “I know I must sound/ opinionated/ maybe biased/ and quite possibly jaded/ but sooner or later they’ll be throwing quarters at you onstage” (BRAP!!)

Having mentioned all of that, some of their lyrics approach a really hokey territory.  Whenever I hear, “I suggest we/learn to love ourselves/before it’s made illegal”, I roll my eyes.  I mean, I appreciate the sentiment but c’mon, that’s terrible!

As usual, my favourite set of lyrics are the simple ones that hold so much depth:  “I haven’t felt the way/ I feel today/ in so long, it’s hard for me to specify…”.  I dig it.  After losing yourself in someone for such a long time, it feels really fucking good to pick up your pieces again.  Oh and I LOVE LOVE the final song on the album.  Because after the massive emotional spectrum you go through after a relationship ends –  which can last for MONTHS -  if you’re smart, if you’re deep, if you stay loving, you do begin to recognize that you’ve spent a huge chunk of your life with this person.  You’ll always share an inexplicable bond and all you can do is wish them well as you both travel “further down the river”.

And now that I’ve typed all of this, it’s leading me to believe that it doesn’t have to apply to a past lover.  It can be for anyone – an old best friend, a cousin, someone who has passed away – who you used to spend all your waking minutes with.  So I guess this post is for all those people in my life.  Though the past few months have been really shitty, things get better everyday.  “And in this moment, I am happy.  I wish you were here”.

All the lonely people.

Where do they all come from?  Well said you feisty little Beatles… well said.

It seems like no matter what type of job you do, there is always an element of customer service involved.  There’s always someone to please, someone’s wishes to acquiesce to, or someone to make happy.  Which is fair enough. People deserve happiness.

Today, I spent a large chunk of my time fielding many complaints, and after years of what I like to call these “caring conversations”, I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to just shut up and let people speak.  Tire them out.  Let them be vile and venomous and  once they realize how crappy it makes them feel, they’ll be quiet and be more open to having an actual conversation.  It took me some time, and I eventually realized that all this negativity had little to do with me and had more to do with their hurt and loneliness.  It upsets me to say this but there are a lot of busted up and broken down people out there.

On my good days, I can quickly realize this and I’ll give them a mental hug.  I imagine myself as one of the maids in The Help and I’m saying, “It’s okay, baby… let it out… after all this, we’ll sit and have some pie”.

On my less patient days, I’m a Real Housewife of Atlanta in one of the reunion shows.  I sneer for the cameras as I mentally smack them across the head with an expensive Prada bag.  And then I mentally go off on them because them bitches made me mash up my Prada bag!  Damn right, I know how to earn my reality TV paycheck!

If I could offer something to the busted up and broken folk I encounter, it would be this small and easy activity.  Please know that I’m not saying I’m the poster boy for perfect mental health.  Like everyone else, I’ve got my issues (Daddy, why did you never hug me?  Why??? WHY?!?!?), and this short daily activity helps me maintain a positive outlook.

• Everyday, at some point in your day, write a list of ten things that you are grateful for.

You can even get yourself a little gratitude journal.  Mine is purple and has a picture of an owl on it.

Give a hoot. Don’t pollute me with your negativity.

At first, it was very easy because I was grateful for all the big things.  As the days progressed it got a bit difficult.  I continually had to dig deeper to find all those things that brightened my life.  You have to understand that I was raised by television and movies so there’s a part of me that expects HUGE life moments every single time.  I always expect a boombox, lights, and fountains, and an adult contemporary ballad, and “Oh my God!  I love Josh!”. 

This is what all my epiphanies look like.

 

 But eventually you discover that it’s the little things that you’re truly happy about and grateful for.  Maybe it’s running into an old friend and laughing about how you used to sing Missy Elliot songs at work while flipping burgers.  Maybe it’s doing some spring cleaning and finding your old VHS of the 1994 Miss Universe pageant, featuring a stunning win by India’s Sushmita Sen, before she became a Bollywood starlet.  Or maybe it’s something even simpler like actually getting 8 hours of sleep.

Recognizing all the small things will add up.  And so when you’re faced with the broken down and busted up people, it will be easier for you to stay golden.  

Try it and see what happens.  At the very least, you’ll keep those mental Prada bags in excellent condition.

They don’t sing. They sang!

This song makes me feel like God himself is massaging a really expensive shampoo into my scalp.

My ‘bird Will Go on

So I’ve heard through the grapevine that one of the cruise ships I used to work on – the Sunbird - has docked for the very last time.  I’m not too sure on the details, and regardless, it has got me feeling nostalgic (and for real, this blog LOVES nostalgia!).  I often think back on my cruise ship days very fondly:  the exotic places, the wonderful people, falling in love once or twice (or six or eighteen times), moonlight shining off the water lighting a path to Nirvana, and the abundant sex – sweet, merciful crap – the sex!

Mostly, I remember having a beginner’s mind about everything.  It all felt so new!  And the Sunbird was an amazing ship and one of my favourite contracts.  Here’s why:

I love Morroccan roll, so put another dime in the juke box baby!

01)  Morrocco!  One of my favourite places in the world.  A lot of people disliked docking here because when experiencing it for the first time, it does smell of stray dogs and armpits.  And once you get past that, you find that it actually smells of stray camels and armpits.  After that, you discover that it is a gorgeous country with delicious food and very lively people.  And since most of the passengers stayed on the ship when we were in Morroco, it was a great place to get away.

On the Sunbird with my birrd!

02)  Travelling companions.  That’s Jacky - she’s a shit hot dancer and one of my favourite travel buddies.  I remember a time when we were in the middle of some unknown lattitude, surrounded by sand, intense heat, bugs, and smelly cab drivers (we were in Morrocco).  We had no map and while other people would have been too scared to go on, she just grabbed my hand, smiled at me and said “Let’s go!”.  We ended up having one of my most memorable days (uhm, we spent most of the day half naked with lots of hands all over us.  It’s another story for another time).  I miss you birrd!  (and some special shout outs to Scott and Linda – miss you both!).

CIAO!

03)  Train rides through Europe.  I love riding the train – all you have to do is get on and the responsibility of travel is in the conductor’s hands. 

 

Quiz with a Twist? or Quiz with a Twat?

04)  Hosting game shows (sometimes in ridiculous outfits) – I guess I should speak of the actual job because I loved it!  There was some room for creativity, performance and just a lot of fun!  A lot of the skills I developed working on cruise ships really help with everything that I do now.  It’s a great example of how all your life energy serves a purpose and it keeps the wheel turning so that everything in your past actually helps you with your present and your future…. 

What? You don't have to wear a sumo suit for your job?

05)  … and then there were the days where it was part of your job description to put on a sumo wrestler suit and run around a wet pool deck.   As you do.

My liver is still recovering.

06)  Vodka cranberries and Coronas.  How else were we supposed to cope with being stuck in the middle of the sea for 6 months at a time?  Reading books?  Pfft!

H2WHOA!

07)  The water – some nights you would sit on back deck staring into a calm darkness, and sometimes the water would toss you around like a rag doll.

Tig ol' bitties. (you might have read that wrong)

08)  And then there was the time that I exposed my milky white bosoms to a tortured and handsome artist, while he sketched me, wearing nothing but a beautiful necklace.  You can’t make this stuff up!

For those who like travel porn.

09)  Lots of mental snapshots that look like this.

10)  meeting someone who turns out to be one of your best friends – That’s Emma Miller, and she’ll kill me for posting this photo but it’s how I remember our time together.  So many talks, so many cups of coffee, so many Native American chants on back deck while wrapped in blankets.  To my friend, my twin, my secret lover, my dirty-ass lesbian bitch:  I love you dearly.

 I always imagined that after my cruise ship career, I would visit one of my ships as a passenger and just enjoy the flood of memories that would come back to me.  But time only moves in one direction. So here’s to you, Sunbird.  As they say, “my heart will go on” for you.

Be indestructible

House/pop or I guess electro/pop music sometimes gets a bad reputation for being repetitive and lyrically frivolous. Sarah Silverman was claimed to have once decried, “Why are people in Toronto still listening to house music? House music is dead!”. Well thanks for the input Sarah, and yes, if want something cool to dance to I’m totally going to listen to a tall, awkward comedian like yourself. Bitch probably can’t even dance (but I think she’s hysterical!).

And judging by the music charts today (and not that I agree with them) our dear ol’ Sarah was totally wrong.
Just like any musical genre, there is the good and there is the bad. Though I’m a year late, I’d lilke to present some of what I think is good! Robyn’s “Indestructible” is totally resonating with me these days. It’s the lines, “I’m gonna love you like I’ve never been hurt before/ I’m gonna love you like I’m indestructible”. I’m beginning to see that whether it’s love, or friendship, or family, or work, or even the pants that I wear in the morning, I am an all or nothing type of person.

And I would not have it any other way. Why go through life half-assed when you have a full ass at your disposal? If there’s a new project at work, I would rather face it head on and be excellent. In relationships, I often choose to jump with both feet in regardless of the risk. And it was only an hour ago that realized I mis-matched the buttons on my shirt so one side is longer than the other and I didn’t care! I walked around like I was Theo Huxtable in the faux-Gordon Gartrel shirt that his sister Denise made for him *schnapp!*.

Of course, it’s not always easy to feel like this. Some days are tougher than others. I guess all I’m saying is that why do we choose to walk around feeling awkward, or scared, or worried, or insecure? I know people who live a lifetime like this and it must be so exhausting! Wouldn’t you rather walk through life as a shining beacon of all the BEST parts of yourself? Just imagine what it would be like if everyone you encountered was strong, confident, loving, caring, kind and happy.

Dance like no one is watching. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Eat like you won’t get fat. Exercise so that you can eat.

Just be indestructible.

Black Kat

Put Your Graffitti on Me” by Kat Graham.

If Kelis’ “Milkshake” and Beyonce’s “Who Run the World (girls)” made a musical baby, it would be this song. Upon first listen, it sounds so chaotic and ridiculous, yet after a few hours my brain kept saying “Tag me!”. It’s nostalgic and modern at the very same time.

I love it. If Janet Jackson’s career were alive today, she would probably do something like this.

Sticki Nicki

My Twitter timeline is blowing up with tweets about Nicki Minaj and I don’t understand why.  Everyone is giving her props for going from hood to Hollywood and expanding on her brand which is so laughable.

Now before I get written off as a hater, let me just say that I love female rap.  Latifah, Lyte, Salt-N-Pepa, Brat, Kim, Foxy, Trina – whether it is because of their lyrical content or their lyrical flow – I love them all.  I even love it when Mariah Carey raps!

When Nicki came on the scene, I got really excited because I thought she would put the spotlight on female rappers again.  I laughed at her antics, her wigs, her accents and her funny faces because I thought that behind it all she had a great flow (check out her verse on Kanye’s “Monster” – I listened to it for days!).  All the while, I thought that this girl was just going to bring us more skills, more great music, and more lyrical wordplay and instead we just got more pink wigs, more accents, and more funny faces.

All the Nicki defenders keep tweeting that Nicki is just expanding on her “brand” which….. why does everyone think that they have a brand all of a sudden?  And what exactly is Nicki’s brand?

• wearing wigs? 

 

• British accents? 

• making stupid faces? 

 

And there’s a huge round of applause for Nicki because she is beginning to make it in Hollywood.  Well there is another female rapper who was able to break into Hollywood while keeping it sassy and classy:

Latifah's had it up to here!

And since we’re comparing, let’s examine some of thier lyrics, shall we?

QUEEN LATIFAH:  “you gotta let ‘em know/ you ain’t a bitch or a ho..”
NICKI MINAJ:  “you a stupid ho/ you a, you a stupid ho/ you a stupid ho/ you a, you a stupid ho”

QUEEN LATIFAH: ”Mama Zulu stands for positivity, knowledge and grace/ I never run my piece/damn, I’ll take it to your face”
NICKI MINAJ:  “Yes my name is Roman/ last name Zolanski/ but no relation to Roman Polanski..”  (What??)

QUEEN LATIFAH:  “You say I’m nothing without ya/ but I’m nothing wit’ ya/ a man don’t really love you if he hits ya”.
NICKI MINAJ:  “Dey-dey-dey-d-deydey/ dey-dey-dey-dey-dey-d-deydey/ Dey-dey-dey-d-deydey/ dey-dey-dey-dey-dey-d-deydey/ Dey-dey-dey-d-deydey/ dey-dey-dey-dey-dey-d-deydey..”

Maybe it’s unfair to compare the two rappers because they’re meant to appeal to different generations and genres, but if you want to talk about a female rapper who went from “hood to Hollywood”, then you better bow down to the Queen!  The only thing I can give Nicki credit for is that should I ever become a contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race, you will all have the pleasure of seeing STICKI VINAJ lip synch for her life.

Again, I’m pretty hard on her because I really wanted her to bring female rap to the landscape of pop music.  I was hoping she would inspire more strong, sexy, talented, and intelligent female rappers.  Instead, we just get this:

The guy on the right is speaking for us all.